What do you call a cow with no legs??
Ground beef.

The road to success is always under CONSTRUCTION!

A horse went into a bar. The barman said…”Why the long face?”

Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating?

A. Getting r*ped.

Q: Whats big, red, and looks like a bucket?
A: A big, red bucket.

Q: What do you call a monkey on a mine field ?
A: a baboom

Q : What is the difference between women and magnets ?
A : Magnets have also positive side.

Q: What is the biggest mouse in the world?
A: Enormous.

My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.

Q: What do u find in an empty nose?
A: Finger prints.

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Botanically speaking, the banana is a herb and the tomato is a fruit.

Americans eat twice as much meat as Europeans, gobbling up some 50kg (110 lb) per capita.

China uses 45 billion chopsticks per year. 25 million trees are chopped down to make ‘em sticks.

The pull-ring tab was invented in 1962 and the re-sealable top in 1965.

Melba toast is named after Australian opera singer Dame Nellie Melba (1861-1931).

Maria Ann Smith introduced the Granny Smith apple in 1838.

The stay-on tab was invented in 1974.

The world’s oldest existing eatery opened in Kai-Feng, China in 1153.

Carrots have zero fat content.

The tall chef’s hat is called a toque.

The first European to encounter tea was the Portuguese Jesuit Jasper de Cruz in 1560.

Approximately one billion snails are served in restaurants annually.

The first cola-flavoured beverage was introduced in 1881.

Chocolate is the number one foodstuff flavour in the world, beating vanilla and banana by 3-to-1.

In the 1950’s some 80% of chickens in Europe and the US were free-ranging. By 1980, it was only 1%. Today, about 13% of chickens in the West are free-ranging.

The soda fountain was patented by Samuel Fahnestock in 1819, with the first bottled soda water available in 1835.

Tea is said to have been discovered in 2737 BC by a Chinese emperor when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water.

Coca-Cola was invented in Atlanta, Georgia by Dr. John S. Pemberton in 1886.

The tea bag was introduced in 1908 by Thomas Sullivan of New York.

Plastic bottles were first used for soft drinks in 1970.

Coffee is the seed of a cherry from the tree genus Coffea

Over 90% of all fish caught are caught in the northern hemisphere.

Aluminum cans were introduced in 1957 and two years later the first diet cola was sold.

Over the last 40 years food production actually increased faster than population.

In 1929, the Howdy Company introduced its “Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Sodas,” which became 7 Up. 7 Up was invented by Charles Leiper Grigg.

Pepsi-Cola was invented by Caleb Bradham in 1890 as “Brad’s Drink” as a digestive aid and energy booster. In was renamed as Pepsi-Cola in 1898.

The first ice-cream soda was sold in 1874 in the US.

The scientific term for the common tomato is lycopersicon lycopersicum, which means “wolf peach.”

The first diet soft drink, called the “No-Cal Beverage” was launched in 1952.

The number of people who starved to death in the last 25 years of the 20th century is less than the number who starved to death in the last 25 years of the 19th century.

Forks, mostly being two-tined, used to known as “split spoons.”

An onion, apple and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavour are caused by their smell.

To make one kilo of honey bees have to visit 4 million flowers, traveling a distance equal to 4 times around the earth.

Of the more than $50 billion worth of diet products sold every year, almost $20 billion are spent on imitation fats and sugar substitutes.

In September 1999 Dustin Philips of the US set a Guinness World Record by drinking a 400 ml (14-oz) bottle of tomato sauce through a straw in 33 seconds.

Wine is sold in tinted bottles because wine spoils when exposed to light.

The Polyethylene Terephthalate bottle was introduced in 1973.

Ice tea was introduced in 1904 at the World’s Fair in St. Louis.

Three quarters of fish caught are eaten – the rest is used to make things such as glue, soap, margarine and fertilizer.

In 1994, Chicago artist Dwight Kalb sent David Letterman a statue of Madonna, made of 180lb of ham.

An ounce of chocolate contains about 20 mg of caffeine.

Milk chocolate was invented by Daniel Peter, who sold the concept to his neighbour Henri Nestl¨¦.

Bananas consistently are the number one compliant of grocery shoppers. Most people complain when bananas are overripe or even freckled. The fact is that spotted bananas are sweeter, with a sugar content of more than 20%, compared with 3% in a green banana.

Vitamin A is known to prevent “night blindness,” and carrots are loaded with Vitamin A. One carrot provides more than 200% of recommended daily intake of Vitamin A.

There are more than 10,000 varieties of tomatoes.

Watermelons are 97% water, lettuce 97%, tomatoes 95%, carrots 90%, and bread 30%.

Approximately 44 million tons of bananas are produced annually, compared to more than 60 million tomatoes. Apples are the third most popular (36 million tons), then oranges (34 million tons) and watermelons (22 million tons).

In the Middle Ages, sugar was a treasured luxury costing 9 times as much as milk.

Bananas are the world’s most popular fruit after tomatoes. In western countries, they could account for 3% of a grocer’s total sales.

The can opener was invented 48 years after cans were introduced.

TIP is the acronym for “To Insure Promptness.”

The world’s most expensive jam (jelly) is Confiture de groselles. It is a redcurrant jam (jelly) from a 14th century recipe made in the tiny French town of Bar-Le-Duc.

Reindeer like to eat bananas.

Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.

Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum.

American’s eat about 18 billion hot dogs a year.

The oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.

The man who played the voice of bugs bunny was allergic to carrots.

Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.

Every time you lick a stamp you gain 1/10 of a calorie.

Yams have 10 times more vitamin C than sweet potatoes.