Weird Labels
On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink in the U.K.: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a timer which apparently causes the lights to flash once a day: AUTOMATICALLY TURNS LIGHTS ON AND OFF AT DUSK
In a patient drug education monograph: Before taking this medication,
tell your doctor or pharmacist
if you are allergic to it.
On a bar of Dial soap: DIRECTIONS — USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On a Swedish chainsaw: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAINSAW WITH YOUR HANDS.
On Boots Children’s Cough Medicine: DO NOT DRIVE A CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY AFTER TAKING THIS MEDICATION.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
In the instruction manual for a Canon camera: DO NOT RATTLE PLAYFULLY AT THE SHUTTER BUTTON.
In the owners manual for a Toyota: DO NOT STAND UP THROUGH THE SUN ROOF WHILE DRIVING OR WHILE CLOSING IT.
On bottom of a box of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
Warning on a box of Rogaine For Men: DO NOT USE WHILE PREGNANT OR NURSING
On a Sears hair dryer: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
Label on sports equipment: DUAL SPORTS CANVAS CATCHER
FOR BASEBALL, SOFTBALL & FOOTBALL
TWO SPORTS IN ONE
On a package of AA batteries: EXPLAIN
¤ Do not change the batter that hasn’t been used up or throw it into fire.
¤ Do not use it with common (carbolic) batter.
¤ According to the use way of equipments to install batter.
¤ Do not decompose the batter.
On a box containing a hotel-provided shower cap: FITS ONE HEAD
Instructions inside a portable voting booth: FOLD TOP DOWN.
CROSS LEGS.
COLLAPSE.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY
Warning label on a drain opener: IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND OR CANNOT READ ALL DIRECTIONS AND WARNINGS, DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT.
On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO
On a Japanese food processor: NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles: OPEN OTHER END
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists: REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
On combination car registration / pet licence renewal form: The Fee is $6.50 for altered, $9.00 for unaltered, and $2.00 for citizens over 65.
On a New Zealand insect spray: THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
General warning: TO AVOID ACCIDENTAL POISONING, DO NOT SWALLOW.
In the instructions inside a box containing a new computer: TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,
ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO
ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
On a Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the complimentary (but insulting) toothbrushes given by a dentist: USE THE FUZZY END!
On a package of Sainsbury’s peanuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS
On a automobile sunshield: WARNING: Do not drive with sunshield in place.
On a toilet brush: WARNING: Do not use toilet brush for personal hygiene.
On a Korean kitchen knife: WARNING — KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On Nytol Sleep Aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
On a home shop drill: WARNING: Not intended for use as a dental drill.
On a child’s Superman costume: WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY
On a packet of Sun-Maid raisins: WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
Tag on clothing for 18-month-old girls: WITH XHILARATION® THERE ARE NO RULES.
WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO GO CRAZY OR DRESS TO THRILL.
MAKE A STATEMENT. MAKE A SCENE.
WEAR WHAT YOU WANT AND IT WON’T BE WRONG.
On a bag of Fritos: YOU COULD BE A WINNER!
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.
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