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Smile Of The Day

Mar.09, 2010 in Illusion Pics Leave a Comment

THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER!!
This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston

Now that you’ve seen the outsideview,
take a look at the inside view…

It’s made entirely of one-way glass!
No one can see you from theoutside, but when you are insideit’s like sitting in a clear
glass box!
Now would you… COULD YOU….???
————————————————————–

A
PAINTED BATHROOM
FLOOR!!!

Tenth floor of a hi-rise building……
IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY …

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM….

You open the door…
NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST

A PAINTED FLOOR !

IT TAKE! S YOUR BREATH AWAY……
DOESN’T IT?

Scroll sloooooooowly.
……..

Would this mess up your mind??? Would you
be able to walk in To this bathroom???

FINALLY!!

THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER’S LOUNGE.

FEMALE COMPASSION

Mar.08, 2010 in Jokes Leave a Comment

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said ‘Have you ever had a hug?’

The man said ‘No,’ so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, ‘Have you ever had a kiss?’

The man said, ‘No,’ so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, ‘Have you ever been screwed?’

The fellow’s eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, ‘No.’

She said, ‘You will be when the tide comes in.’

The Oldest Chain Letter on The Internet

Mar.05, 2010 in Jokes Leave a Comment

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many bitchy little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Queer Horror Story #1: Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

Queer Horror Story #2: Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.

Funny Facebook Sayings

Mar.03, 2010 in Jokes, Pics For Myspace Comments Leave a Comment

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- Management speak has never been more truthful.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Sounds like an army corporal’s introduction speech.

A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.
The perfect reply for when your boss asks you to do something dumb (if you want to get fired)

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
- Unless your job is being a priest.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Paste this on someone’s comment when they say something idiotic or controversial!

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
- Know anybody who’s getting divorced in the near future? Let them know you’re thinking about them…

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
- Unless they’re really bad at their job, of course…

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
- If you ever see a green glowing tabby, steer clear of it.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Best friend, confidante, drug dealer.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
- A lot of people on my friends list never go outside, so this won’t apply to them.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
- I hate it when you get what you wish for!

I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- The only crime that is worse than being caught having sex with an animal. Just

Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing
- The perfect answer to ‘OMG I’M GETTING MARRIED status updates’.

Lucky Money Goddess

Mar.02, 2010 in Jokes Leave a Comment

I’m sending you a
Lakshimi

Money Goddess

This is a Money Goddess Lakshimi. Pass it to 6 of
your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days.

Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.

I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you
delete it, you will never know!

SHE WORKS SHE REALLY WORKS

Redneck Joke:Expensive Fishing Trip

Mar.01, 2010 in Redneck Jokes Leave a Comment

Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip.

They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.

The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.

It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they’re driving home they’re really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?”

The other guy says, “Wow! It’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Feb.24, 2010 in Jokes Leave a Comment

Q: What does Star Trek’s Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier……….

Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.

Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don’t have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they’ve no idea of the route.

Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.

Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter’s trap, chewed off it’s 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.

Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.

To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with ‘Please turn over’ scribbled on both sides.

Funny Newspaper Headlines

Feb.23, 2010 in Jokes Leave a Comment

These are funny newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman’s leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ‘84

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Dear Kill 17,000

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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